My Life in Red and White

 

Arsene Wenger... a man who changed my life 25 years ago...

I was originally a Magpie fan... Arsenal football came into my life in 1996 when the flying Dutchman, Dennis Bergkamp arrived in North London from Inter Milan. This was then followed by the arrival of Le Boss. I was diverted to North London football since then. The beauty of non-restricted "Wengerball" really caught my attention those days and Arsene Wenger was my hero for almost 20 years...

As such, this book meant so much to me despite the legacy of Arsene Wenger almost tarnish at the end of his Arsenal era. This autobiography is a full story of Le Boss from his childhood all the way to the present situation. After this book is published, the media seems to focus on why Jose Mourinho was not mentioned in the book. To me, it is not only The Special One. The others like Sir Alex Ferguson (at least a bit), the late Gerard Houllier, Big Sam and many others was not featured in this book too. This may sound like a little flaw to readers. However, come to think about that, I think this biography is quite special compared to the others. At least Mr. Wenger focused on himself, and it makes this biography so unique and not so "gossiping" like others.  

For a full rating of 10, I am going to rate it at 10/10. Yes, I admit that I am so much bias to this Arsenal legend as he is the one who made me fall in love in football for over 20 years. Secondly, although the gossip content is below par, at least I can concentrate on the man I admire so much. Finally, there are some quotes from the book as below which enlighten my mind after reading this book:

A coach tends to over-estimate the effectiveness of his communication. So, there are some rules that need to be taken into account: 

1. On average two thirds of people would do more if their qualities were better recognized. 

2. Less than 30% of people apply the recommendations they've been given owing to a lack of confidence, a lack of respect for the coach or a lack of clarity or of practical recommendations. It's important to be clear in one's recommendations in order to boost confidence and improve performance. 

3. When expressing a negative point, one should put forward three positive points when speaking to somebody who needs to develop.

4. One should not aim for multiple objectives: just one or two are enough.

5. Never forget that time and place are very important.

The coach should promote collective expression by creating the conditions to allow the team to take risks, and encourage them to do so. And when faced defeat, he should stay firm, believe in his convictions, above all not blame the players. When he is preparing for a match, the coach's challenge is to succeed in destroying the opponent's strong points without preventing his own team from expressing themselves. If you exaggerate the opposition's qualities, you increase your players' fear and the risk they will hide away. At Monaco, our strength, was that they did not hide: they weren't afraid of anybody.

Putting the bias and favoritism aside, actually I learn more from the other legend (which I hate him so much those days, LOL). Relatively, I think the book "Leading" is much better. However, due to my utmost love to Arsenal, this book brings a lot of sweet memories to me, and I am so nostalgic while reading this book. As a conclusion, thank you so much to Le Boss for bringing us every hard-fought matches, awesome players throughout his time at Arsenal and ultimately, the memories on Arsenal journey which Mikel Arteta is building on it. As mentioned by current gaffer ~~~ "Trust the Process" and all the best to the club I love so much! 

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

 

This book suddenly crossed my mind after reading a lousy book in "Atomic Habits". "Atomic Habits" really disappointed me. As such, I felt there is a need to revisit a book I read 20 years ago. Main thing is, I need to find out whether I really hate "Atomic Habits" that much or simply because this sort of books no more sounds appealing to me...

At the end, this is still the same "amazing" book I read 20 years ago. A reread after 20 years is an incredible journey. After all, when I can re-quote some of the nice quotes below, it clearly showed that this book is still applicable after years. Further to that, although the said 7 habits were practiced over the years, the revision on this book did trigger some new ideas on me particularly as well as my interdependent relationship. 

Relatively, "Atomic Habits" do not have this sort of attraction. Well, credit must be given to the author of 7 habits. "Atomic Habits" may not be that bad. Perhaps, the presenting styles and the practical part is not as good as 7 habits. 

Out of 10, I have no reason to revise my full rating 20 years ago. This book is still one of my bibles in life and amazingly, it is still perfectly good to maintain all the 7 habits for the rest of my life. Thumbs up and thumbs up to the late Stephen R. Covey!

My experience has been that there are times to teach and times not to teach. When relationship are strained and the air charged with emotions, an attempt to teach is often perceived as a form of judgment and rejection.

A sense of possessing needs to come before a sense of genuine sharing.

Knowledge is the theoretical paradigm. Skill is the how to do and desire is the motivation. In order to make something a habit, we have to have all three.

Effectiveness lies in the balance. Excessive focus on P results in ruined health, worn-out machines, depleted bank accounts and broken relationship. Too much focus on PC is like a person who runs 3/4 hours a day, bragging about the extra 10 years of life it creates, unaware he's spending them running. 

There are 3 social maps: Genetic determinism, Psychic determination, Environmental determination to explain the nature of man. 

Look at the word responsibility - "response-ability" - the ability to choose your response. Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility.

Proactive people are still influenced by external stimuli. But, their response to the stimuli is a value-based choice or response. It is our willing permission, our consent to what happens to us, that hurts us far more than what happens to us in the first place. It's not what happen to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us. 

It is our willingness permission, our consent to what happens to us, that hurts us far more than what happens to us in the first place.

In the great literature of all progressive societies, love is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling.

Proactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about. The nature of their energy is positive, enlarging and magnifying, causing their Circle of Influence to increase. Reactive people on the other hand, focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern.

Whether a problem is direct, indirect, or no control, we have in our hands to the first step to the solution. Changing our habits, changing our methods of influence and changing the way we see our no control problems are within our Circle of Influence.

Habit 1 says "You are the programmer." Habit 2, then, says "Write the program." Until your accept the idea that you are responsible, that you are the programmer, you won't really invest in writing the program.

Almost all of the world class athletes and other peak performers are visualizers. They see it; the fell it; they experience it before they actually do it. They begin with the end in mind.

Before a performance, a sales presentation, a difficult confrontation, or the daily challenge of meeting a goal, see it clearly, vividly, relentlessly, over and over again. Create an internal "comfort zone." Then, when you get into the situation, it isn't foreign. It doesn't scare you.

My maxim of personal effectiveness: Manage from the left; lead from the right.

The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities. And this can be done in the context of the week.

The focus in steward delegation is on effectiveness, not efficiency. Certainly you can do it better by yourself, but the key is to empower someone else to do it. It takes time. You have to get involved in the training and development. It takes time, but how valuable that time is downstream! It saves you so much in long run. 

The steward relatively compares to gofer focused on results instead of methods. The steward becomes his own boss, governed by a conscience that contains the commitment to agreed upon desired results. But it also releases his creative energies to achieve those desired results.

Real self-respect comes from dominion over self, from true independence. And that's the focus of Habits 1,2,3. Independence is an achievement. Interdependence is a choice only independent people can make. Unless we are willing to achieve real independence, it's foolish to try to develop human relations skills. 

I suggest that in an interdependent situation, every P problem is a PC opportunity - a chance to build the Emotional Bank Accounts that significantly affect interdependent production.  

Seek first to understand involves a very deep shift in paradigm. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply. They're filtering everything through their own paradigms. 

As long as the response it logical, can effectively ask questions and give counsel. But the moment the response becomes emotional, one needs to go back to emphatic listening.

The more proactive you are (Habit 1), the more effectively you can exercise personal leadership (Habit 2) and management (Habit 3) in your life. The more effectively you manage your life (Habit 3), the more Quadrant II renewing activities you can do (Habit 7). The more you seek first to understand (Habit 5), the more effectively you can go for synergetic Win/Win situation (Habits 4 & 6). The more you improve in any of the habits that lead to independence (Habits 1,2,3), the more effective you will be in interdependent situations (Habits 4,5,6). And renewal (Habit 7) is the process of renewing all the habits.

There is a gap or space between stimulus and response, and that they key to both our growth and happiness is how we use that space.