Ended up... this is still one of the best books I had ever read even though my last read was 20 years ago! Those days when I was young, I might not be able to appreciate so much even though I realize it was an amazing book. Now, in my early 40's I think this book will reshape my life once again!!!
The best part about this book is... it is helpful in all aspects of life from career, marriage, family, etc. Dale Carnegie guides us on how to control ourselves and acts in a way of service to others. The various examples given in the book will help readers to understand the concepts and apply it in their life. This book is essential beneficial to everyone, even for those without the problems of controlling emotional qualities.
I have so many good things to say about this book. As such, I have no hesitation to rate this book at 10/10! In fact, I made up my mind to revisit this book every several years. I think this book will benefit each individual personally and professionally. I highly recommend this book!
Last but not least... such a great book... of course tons of nice quotes as below:
Take thoughts for the tomorrow, yes, careful thought and planning and preparation. But, have no anxiety.
You and I are like hourglass. When we start in the morning, there are hundreds of tasks which we feel that we must accomplish that day, but if we do not take them one at a time and let them pass through the day slowly and evenly, as do the ground of sand passing through the narrow neck of the hourglass, then we are bound to break our own physical or mental structure.
Life is a ceaseless change. The only certainty is today. Why mar the beauty of living today by trying to solve the problems of a future that is shrouded in ceaseless change and uncertainty- a future that no one can possibly foretell?
You do not get stomach ulcers from what you eat. You get ulcers from what is eating you. Ulcers frequently flare up or subside according to the hills and valleys of emotional stress.
Plato said that "the greatest mistake physicians make is that they attempt to cure the body without attempting to cure the mind; yet the mind and body are one should be treated separately!"
Dr Alexis Carrel: "Business men who do not know how to fight worry die young."
If you want to avoid worry, do what Sir William Osier did: Live in "day-tight" compartments." Don't stew about the future. Just live each day until bedtime.
Half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision. Once a decision is carefully reached act! Get busy carrying out your decision - and dismiss all anxiety about the outcome.
It is difficult to worry while you are busy doing something that requires planning and thinking.
Why does such a simple thing as keeping busy help to drive out anxiety? Because of a law- one of the most fundamental laws ever revealed by psychology. And that law is: it is utterly impossible for any human mind, no matter how brilliant, to think of more than one thing at any given time.
General George Crook- probably the greatest Indian fighter in American history says that nearly all the worries and unhappiness of the Indian came from their imagination, not from reality.
Let's examine the record. Let's ask ourselves: "what are the chances, according to the law of average, that this event I am worrying about will ever occur?"
We are going to meet a lot of unpleasant situations that are so. They cannot be otherwise. We have our choice. We can either accept them as inevitable and adjust ourselves to them, or we ca ruin our lives with rebellion and maybe end up with a nervous breakdown.
President of Chrysler: "When I am up against tough situation, if I can do anything about it, I do it. If I can't, I just forget it. I never worry about the future, because I know no man living can possibly figure out what is going to happen in the future. So, why worry about them?"
One of the reasons was their burning desire to impress you and me. Yes, we are the posterity whose opinion they were worried about! Do we give a hoot? No, we are too concerned with our own problems to waste a minute thinking about them.
Whenever we are tempted to throw good money after bad in terms of human living, let's stop and ask these questions:
1. How much does this thing I am worrying about really matter to me?
2. At what point shall I set a stop loss order on this worry and forget it?
3. Exactly how much shall I pay for this whistle? Have I already paid more than it is worth?
There is only one way on God's green footstool that the past can be constructive' and that is by calmly analysing our past mistakes and profiting by them- and forgetting them.
We need to be concerned about our problems, but not worried. Concern means realising what the problems are and calmly taking steps to meet them. Worrying means going around in maddening, futile circles.
You will quickly discover what William James was talking about- that it is physically impossible to remain blue or depressed while you are acting out the symptoms of being radiantly happy!
Happiness is from within; it is not a matter of externals.
When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us; power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health and our happiness. Our enemies will dance with joy if only they knew how they were worrying us, lacerating us and getting even with us! Our hate is not hurting them, but our hate is turning our own days and nights into a hellish turmoil.
If selfish people try to take advantage of you, cross them off your list, but don't try to get even. When you try to get even, you hurt yourself more than you hurt the other fellow.
Even if we can't love our enemies, let's at least love ourselves. Let's love ourselves so much that we won't permit our enemies to control our happiness, our health and our looks.
"To be wronged or robbed," said Confucius, "is nothing unless you continue to remember it."
No one can humiliate or disturb you- unless we let him. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.
Let's never waste a minute thinking about peoples we don't like.
Let's not expect gratitude. Then, if we get some occasionally, it will come as a delightful surprise. If we don't get it, we won't be disturbed.
The most important thing in life is not to capitalize on your gains. Any fool can do that. The really important thing is to profit from your losses. That requires intelligence, and it makes the difference between a man of sense and a fool.
You can be cured in 14 days if you follow this prescription. Try to think every day how you can please someone.
Why will doing a good deed everyday produce such astounding efforts on the doer? Because trying to please others will cause us to stop thinking of ourselves: the very thing that produces worry and fear and melancholia.
If you want to banish worry and cultivate peace and happiness, here is Rule 7: Forget yourself by becoming interested in others. Do every day a good deed that will put a smile of joy on someone's face.
Man is not made to understand life, but to live it.
If we are tempted to be worried about unjust criticism here is Rule 1: Remember that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment Remember that no one ever kicks a dead dog.
When you and I are unjustly criticized, let's remember Rule 2: Do the very best you can: and then put your old umbrella and keep the rain of criticism from running down the back of your neck.
So, to prevent fatigue and worry, the first rule is: Rest often. Rest before you get tired.
Dr Edmund Jacobson of the University of Chicago has gone so far as to say that if you can completely relax the muscles of the eyes, you can forget all your troubles.
You can relax in odd moments, almost anywhere you are. Only don't make an effort to relax. Relaxation is the absence of all tension and effort. Think ease and relaxation.
"I measure my accomplishments," says Daniel W. Josselyn, "not by how tired I am at the end of the day, but how tired I am not." He says: "When I feel particularly tired at the end of the day, or when irritability proves that my nerves are tired, I know beyond questions that it has been an inefficient day both as to quantity and quality."
A person with his desk pilled high with papers on various matters will find his work much easier and more accurate if he clears that desk of all but the immediate problem on hand. I call this good housekeeping and it is the number-one step towards efficiency.
Keep reminding yourself that getting interested in your job will take your mind off your worries, and in the long run, will probably bring promotion and increased pay. Even if it doesn't do that, it will reduce fatigue to a minimum and help you enjoy your hours of leisure.
Worrying about insomnia will hurt you far more than insomnia.
No man ever committed suicide by refusing to sleep and no one ever will. Nature would force a man to sleep in spite of all his will power. Nature will let us go without food or water far longer than she will let us go without sleep.
More money is not the answer to most people's financial worries. In fact, I have often seen it happen that an increase in income accomplished nothing but an increase in spending- and an increase in headaches. What cause most people to worry is not that they haven't enough money, but that they don't know how to spend the money they have!
I try to see my troubles in their proper perspective. I say to myself: "Two months from now I shall not be worrying about this bad break, so why worry about it now? Why not assume now the same attitude that I will have two months from now?"
